Nod to Jeff Foxworthy.
Although these mostly apply to the first year with twins, some still apply to me now.
- If you feel you could win most arm wrestling matches.
- If you get only 10 minutes without a baby in a 12-hour period.
- If you have had 16 or more diaper changes in one day.
- If perfect strangers ask you about your kids' conception.
- If you feel like a celebrity . . . in that you can't go anywhere without being stared at, stopped, asked a million questions, admired, complimented, and/or consoled.
- If there is no such thing as a quick errand.
- If you can't remember which baby woke you up last night. Or which baby you just changed. Or who you just fed.
- If you have to paint your kids' toe nails to make sure you don't mix them up, regardless of whether they are identical or fraternal.
- If there are bags under the bags under your eyes.
- If starting solids means wearing a hazmat suit.
- If changing diapers means wearing a hazmat suit.
- If you have two of everything and you hide things that you only have one of.
- If you coordinate your kids' outfits most days without even thinking about it.
- If you have single-handedly consumed an entire 1/2 gallon of ice cream in 24 hours.
- If your kids giggle at each other's jokes in their own baby language.
Any others I forgot to mention? Leave yours here.