Manualautophobia: Confessions of a Troubled Mind

I think it is crazy how many phobias there are these days. People can really be afraid of anything: otters (lutraphobia), vegetables (lachanophobia), the sun (heliophobia), thinking (phronemophobia), computers (logizomechanophobia), numbers (numerophobia), and even books (bibliophobia)!!! Even though I loved watching Monk and I miss that show a lot, I find it hard to believe that someone actually could be afraid of milk!

These are some things I am irrationally afraid of or greatly dislike to some degree.

Enetophobia and Aichmophobia: the fear of needles or pins
This one is common. I don't like needles at all, but I don't pass out when I see them or feel them, especially after 12 days in the hospital being stabbed at least once a day.

Altophobia: fear of heights
Again, a common one. I don't like standing next to the edge of a drastic height, but sometimes the view is amazing, making the scary height worth it.

Apiphobia: fear of bees
This probably isn't as common, but I don't think I'm alone with this. I really don't like bees. For some reason, they seem like they fly out of their way to buzz around me threateningly just to mess with my head. Bees, just make your honey, and leave me alone!


But the thing that frightens me the most is truly terrifying. I'm afraid to drive a stick-shift car!!--which happens to be the kind of car we have. (I looked everywhere on the internet, and there is no assigned name to the fear of driving a stick-shift car. Sad. So I created manualautophobia.)

That's right. I am completely afraid to drive our only car. My heart races, I sweat, my breathing quickens, and my mind jumps to all the worst-case scenarios: I stall in the middle of the busiest intersection and can't start again before the light changes, or I stall on a steep hill and roll backwards (apparently, my brakes go out too).

I technically know how to drive our car, and I have driven it before, but I feel 100% uncomfortable with it. I would rather walk for miles than drive somewhere if I'm the one that has to drive that car. And most things I need to get to are within walking distance. I know it's irrational, and I know that time and practice will help me get rid of this fear, but for me it is more painful than all the hangnails and papercuts I've ever experienced put together. OUCH!

Part of the problem is that because of Tracy's internship in Houston this summer, I will not even have access to the car during the week, so I have little to no (more no than little) motivation to practice. But with my calling with the Young Womens program, I need to be able to give them rides home or offer transportation for our activities or meetings. So I guess I have a little motivation.

Again, I know it's stupid, and I know when I tell other people about this fear, they think "Suck it up!" "Get over it!" "Grow up!" To them I say, please be patient with me. I'm trying to try and care. I fear this more than a lot of things--except things like not being able to have kids, becoming a widow at a young age, or having children who choose to do horrible things (you know, the things that actually matter). And don't worry, I intend to beg for Heaven's help too. Silly, I know, but it definitely can't hurt.

Wish me luck! I'm going to need it!

Me Time?

If you haven't noticed, there aren't too many pictures on here for the past couple of posts, and the reason behind that is that Tracy has the camera in west Texas for a class field trip. So I have depend on the pictures I already have . . . and they don't help me portray my "me time" at all.

Tracy's field trip lasts nine days, leaving me with a ton of alone time. Or does it? NOT!! I like how I won't even have a chance to miss him really. I'm spending that time doing so many awesome things!!

Last Friday and Saturday, I helped out with our stake youth conference and taught one of the workshops on Saturday. (P.S. A big thanks goes out to a certain all-powerful, all-knowing Being, you know who you are, who held off the rain until my outdoor workshop was done.) The theme was from Joshua 1:9--Be Stong! We had so much fun!! I love working with the youth, and I learn and grow from those activities probably as much as they do. Even though I spent a lot of time on youth conference with a hundred other people, I felt so good afterward.

Now, it's back to work and normal life (i.e. catching up on cleaning the house--you know, the pig sty I live in--oh yeah), until Thursday when I leave for a regional writing center conference in Louisiana. I'm presenting on the tutoring environment and how to make it more conducive to learning and collaboration. Hoighty-toighty, right?

Tracy and I will get back to College Station on Saturday to start it over again.

But I'll have basically all summer for "me time." Tracy will be working in Houston and coming home on the weekend. Needless to say, my house will be covered in projects, and I might want to have girls' night sleepovers in the middle of the week. Any takers?

I've found that having "me time" alone is really nice and I am looking forward to it for the summer (only a little though), but doing something for other people is a much better use of my time. I feel that I have accomplished something, and I know I won't get bored or lonely.

So Nice to Be Where I Belong

Imagine Louis Armstrong: Hello, Lacey! Well, hello, Lacey! It's so nice to have you back where you belong!

That's right. I am in Young Womens!! I will be working with the 12- and 13-year-old girls in my ward. I am so excited! I'm also going to camp with most of my Beehive girls at camp as the second year certification leader for the stake, so we'll be pretty darn tight soon.

Already I can feel that this calling will be a lot of work, from what I have witnessed the years and years my mom has been in Young Womens, but I can tell that I will love it. I know that my leaders' efforts made Young Womens significant for me. I grew so much(physically, mentally, and spiritually), made so many friends, and felt strong and close to God in part because of Young Womens, and now it is my turn to give back and pay it forward to them.

Plus, Young Womens will let me feel and be young again! You know, since I am so old at twenty-two.

For our first activity this week, we sewed pillow cases. I got to bust out my wicked awesome sewing machine (thanks again, Tracy). Those pillow cases were adorable!! We were tempted to have a sleepover with our new pillowcases.

I might belong in another calling later in life, but for now, I am where I belong. And I can't wait to get to work!

Reeve Family VI March Madness

Elbow, elbow. Wrist, wrist . . . I won! I feel like a celebrity!

I won my extended family's March Madness challenge. My bracket was the least destroyed after all those crazy upsets. In addition to a pretty sweet gift card (thanks Uncle Gerry!), I get bragging rights over all (76 total people) my cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings, parents, and especially my husband for a whole year! Don't worry. I'll go easy on 'em.

You might be wondering "what is her key to success? how did she know?" Well, after I publish a book about it, you can find out. (Uh, right.) Until then, I guess I could just talk about it here. I have no real strategy. Nope. None.

I chose Duke to win because I really like Coach K. (Don't be too impressed; he's the only coach I know by name, or by initial really.) I said that Georgetown (3rd seed) would lose to Ohio (14th seed) mostly because Georgetown had a player that was rude and too dramatic for my liking. Unreliable? Silly? Impractical? Perhaps, but apparently I did something right!

I love upsets, except with Duke. I like watching Duke win. I like watching teams rise to the challenge and play with everything they have, even though no one gave them even a snowball's chance in Arizona. That's what makes watching sports fun--close battles, with sometimes the underdog coming out on top.

My words of wisdom for March Madness: never underestimate the underdogs.

We'll Follow the Old Man: Lt. Col. Kelvin Kupfer

Twenty-three years ago, my dad joined the air force with two young kids and one on the way (me!!). Almost half of my life was spent on a rural military base. Up until I was twelve, the air force was all I knew. I didn't know people went grocery shopping anywhere else than the commissary. I thought everyone had miles of land to run around in their backyard. (In New York, we even had our own mini-forest and creek.) I thought everyone knew what the BX was. I thought F18s and other aircraft flew everywhere. (I know that's an old model now. They were new back then.) I thought every film in movie theaters started with the national anthem. (I actually got mad at everyone for not standing up in my first civilian movie experience.) Since we moved to Arizona, my dad has used his vacation time from his civilian job to work for the air force and NASA tracking satellites and doing a lot of other awesome things. (He is so awesome that he has to get special clearance to leave the country to make sure he won't give away confidential secrets!)

On April 2, today, my dad retired from the air force as a lieutenant colonel. I have always been my dad's military baby, and although it has been years since I set foot an air force base, I have to admit that while I am so happy that he will be able to use his vacation time for just that, his retirement is rather bittersweet for me. But my joy for him far exceeds any nostalgia.

My dad is a great example of quiet service, sacrifice, love, and patriotism. I am so grateful to him, and I am thrilled that he gets to have his own moment in the spotlight. I'm proud of you, Daddy!